Sofia "Bulgaria is fascinating"

I hate to say this, but since moving across an ocean, being in Sofia was probably the toughest time I've had so far. I am someone that has been dealing with depressive episodes since I was in middle school. Over the years, I have found different ways of dealing with it. Most people in my life, still have an old school approach in dealing with mental health. Push it down, don't talk about it, you don't have real problems. Lucky for me, a cousin of mine and one of my mentors, Miss Jean, were instrumental in helping me get on a better path in my mental health journey.

For me, several things will trigger me going into a spiral. Some are too personal to share. But often times it will be the weather, financial stress, or if I'm struggling to find food that I can eat. Whether you have celiac, or any other type of allergy where you have a severe reaction, it's something that takes up most of your brain space. When it becomes difficult to find food, it's all consuming. Unfortunately, Sofia provided the perfect storm of all those things. With all of this and dealing with the culture shock of encountering a different alphabet for the first time, I needed to find new ways to deal with my anxiety and depression spiral.

I have tried multiple ways in turning a spiral around and I am still searching for a consistent way to work through all the emotions. But the one thing that has worked the best for me so far has been walking. When I go for walks by myself, I usually walk around for hours. I love walking around residential neighborhoods. It helps my brain focus on something other than the chaos I feel I'm living in. I pass by each house and imagine what type of family lives in each home. I create stories in my head and it helps provide me perspective which I desperately need. Unfortunately in Sofia, for a multitude of reasons, it was not an option for me. It took me a few weeks, but I finally got myself back on track.

Being able to find what works for you in your mental health journey is instrumental in self-love. Whatever stigma that's attached to going to therapy or being able to vocalize your feelings, that is someone else's problem. That is NOT your problem. One of the ways of dealing with stress that is perceived as weak is crying. Crying has been one of my more effective ways in releasing stress. It's not weak. I am allowing my body to release emotions that have been building up in a way that doesn't harm myself or others. Whatever works for you, whether it's going to the gym, eating a ton of ice cream, going for runs or walks, talking to a therapist, family member or friend, whatever it is - everyone should have the freedom in dealing with their mental health that works best for them. No judgements. On an airplane, what do they tell you to do in an emergency? Put the oxygen mask on yourself before you go to help others. Taking care of your mental health is the greatest form of self-love that you can do. It's you putting on your mask so you can go and put good out into the world.

Eventually, I had to get myself to a place to try and solve my problems. I found one place where I was having success in getting food for myself and I spoke with the staff. It helped open up a couple more options and possibilities for me in being able to feed myself. A step forward. I made sure to schedule out my weekends where I spent most of my time outside. One more step forward. As far as my financial situation... well that's still being figured out. But I came up with a plan, and I love a great plan!

This does not mean I am fully out of my spiral. I'm still having my struggles as I move onto my next destination. But my mantra has become one step at a time...