"Istanbul is a magical seal which unites Europe and Asia"

Istanbul was an interesting experience for me. It's where I got to learn about my own bias. When Prince Harry's memoir "Spare" was released, everyone mocked him for talking about his "unconscious bias". I always knew what he meant when he was saying that. I fell into the same trap he did. During college, a friend asked me, "Ashley, when you see a black man in a parking lot at night and you're in your car, don't you immediately lock the car doors?" My response was always, truthfully, no. I lock my car door if I see someone dressed a certain way. Not by looking at the color of their skin. The wardrobe was my bias. I was 6 years old when 9/11 happened. I remember most details about what happened that day even though I was so young. But even at that young age, I knew the difference between those that participated in the religion of Islam peacefully, and the extremists. In modern times, I know the difference between a Republican and the extremists that took part in January 6th. I would sit in family parties and hear the innappropriate jokes and judgements about anyone they considered "other". "Other" ranged from someones race, their sexual orientation or even chosen profession. All of that partly fueled my thirst for travel. I wanted to learn more about what makes us all different. I wanted to become less ignorant and more openminded in other people's lifestyles. So I thought I was immune to being a racist, homophobe, or any other type of "-phobe".

I also never realized how naive I was in regards to the idea of "propoganda". That was something Russia did. Or North Korea. But when I came to Istanbul, in my first days here, I saw so many devout Muslims and realized, I was having a negative response to seeing them. I got scared. In the morning, I woke up to hearing the ezan, or call for prayer, and I got nervous. Because I'm incredibly introspective, I immediately wanted to figure out why I had these reactions. I knew better. I knew no one was going to hurt me. There was no danger. Why was I nervous or scared? Back to Prince Harry, I opened up my unconscious bias.

There's a difference between logically knowing something, and having an emotional reaction. The key in breaking the unconcious bias, is to recorgnize the emotional reaction, and get to the root cause of why it's happening. That's what in my mind distinguishes the bigot from someone that is truly not racist. I realized America does have it's version of propoganda. When you are watching the news, you are only seeing Muslims on your screen if they're talking about an attack. You rarely see anyone take the time to speak with those practicing their faith in a positive way, speaking about the true beliefs of Islam. I've only seen one documentary really explore that, and it's about the Boston Marathon bombing. You can find it on Netflix, it's called American Manhunt: The Boston Marathon Bombing. When I watch Hollywood movies, when you hear the prayers of Islam, I've only heard it in the context of something bad is about to happen. A prayer has been so twisted in American media that when I heard it, I immediately associated it with needing to be scared.

When people heard I was coming to Istanbul, more people told me to be careful coming here than anywhere else I was going. Now. There have been 22 terrorist attacks in Istanbul since 2001, with approximately 222 casualties. There have been 13 terrorist attacks in NYC since 2001, with approximately 3,009 casualties and over 6,079 injured. Walking to and from work in NYC, I was walking through areas where I was at higher risk for being a casualty than I am in Istanbul. So for people to be concerned for my safety, in a city that most people have named as their favorite places they've traveled to, based on ignorance, is slightly obsurd.

So instead of remaining ignorant, and continuing to have a negative response when hearing something that is meant to bring peace, I decided to use this trip to become educated.

In some of the tours I did. I got to go into a few mosques and learn about some of the rituals of Islam. It was incredibly enlightening and I very much enjoyed it and learned to respect those that practice Islam. In some of the mosques, they have free pamphlets on different topics with Islam and i got as many as I could for me to read. I have also found a family (@SalehFamily) and they in a really kind way answer all the ignorant questions and educate folks on the traditions of Islam. I guess this is what my mother and grandparents were talking about that education is so important. It minimizes the ignorance.

Unfortunately, it also came to light that Muslims also have certain biases as well. This does not mean it's okay for me to sit back and help in continuing this seemingly endless cycle of ignorance. In fact, it's fueling me to not be that way. There's so much happening in the world right now that I wish we could all learn to speak with one another, and provide the forum to ask each other questions, no matter how "dumb" the question may be. It would be nice if we could all learn to walk in one another's shoes and instead of making assumptions, mistaking them for facts. It would be nice if we could do what we can to educate ourselves... maybe the world would be a better place. Sadly, I can not control others, so I will do my best to break the cycle, and then lead by example.

Let me be clear, my ignorance is not just with Muslims. It's with the Black Lives Matter movement, it's for Asian representation, those of Latin descent, LGBTQIA+ rights... the list goes on and on.

I have a long way to go. But I'm hoping I can be better than how I was raised to be. I will ask questions, have the uncomfortable conversations, and learn. Be open. Be accepting. Granted, I'm not a saint. I will make mistakes. I will offend people. I will make a lot of misteps. But I hope as long as my intentions are clear, I can leave the world even just slighly a bit better than how I came into it.